I mean, we all have that someone that we call our best friend in life. That person we can tell anything to, have so much fun with, have tons of inside jokes with, always count on each other.
How we meet those friends depends. Maybe you're on the same team as them for a sport, in the same club, live near them, met them in a class, or whatever!
Then there's the term "BFF"- Best friends forever. I've used that term so many times, overused it probably. After using it so many times, I've realized, it's so false.
I mean don't get me wrong, I've had some great BFF's. I loved them all and had so much fun. They were all there for me when I needed them and we all had some great memories. But that's all they are now. Memories.
I didn't lose them by bad, horrible fights like most people think best friendships end. One or two..yeah.. but usually not.
I actually got in a fight with a best friend and stopped being friends with her for my next best friend. If I could take one thing back in life, it would be that.
But other than that, how do we lose friends?
Change.
Us and the world is constantly changing. Especially as teenagers. We might like something one day and hate it the next. We might suddenly want something more than anything one week and could care less the next.
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe
That is such a true quote. All my friends changing has taught me to let go. My most recent best friend, we became friends in 7th grade and our friendship lasted until 10th grade. I could feel the ending coming for a while, I was just holding it off because I didn't want it to happen.
We used to be so alike and love doing the same things, and we had the same beliefs and values. She has a tough life in a really rough neighborhood. Nothing like mine. And, that finally got to her.
I lost her to alcohol, weed, cigarettes, partying, and boys.
I don't do that crap, so we just didn't get along as much anymore and couldn't hang out because all she wanted to do was smoke and drink.
She was the best friend I ever had too. We went through thin and a lot of thick together. She was supportive and always there for me. I could tell her anything and we always had so much fun together. We would text all day and even sometimes email and IM. It made me sad to look in my inbox and see all our old messages, I miss those days.
I could say "I miss her" But in reality, I don't.
I miss the old her. That girl I know now, that's not my best friend. She's completely changed. And, I had to let go. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I'm still working on it. People saw us as "Paige and Hannah, the two inseparable best friends." People would get us mixed up in our looks and personalities. Teachers would even sit us next to each other because they knew how close we were.
A teacher from last year of mine asked me "How's your friend Hannah doing?" I could have lied and said good. But, I was too close with the teacher. I told him I honestly didn't know, and we weren't friends anymore.
It was hard to hear myself say it.
I bet you're thinking.. "Paige, you don't have to do those things she does, you could still be friends." It was just like, her attitude totally changed too. We got in a huge fight over me trying to protect her from a jerk guy, and her thinking it's just because I don't like him. (Which is true, but that's not why I didn't want them to date) I hated seeing her get hurt so much and cry over him almost every day. It broke my heart. He wasn't worth her tears and stress.
So we had a huge fight and sorta kinda made up, she apologized and so did I. But, we both knew it would never be the same.
I know you guys don't really care so I'll continue with other things..
So, what is the point of this post exactly? The point is to let you all know no matter what you think, friendships usually don't last forever. I remember talking with her about out futures, and how we'd make our kids have play dates and we'd visit each other at work and be each other's maid of honor in our weddings.
Yeah, not anymore.
So, don't hold onto something that doesn't exist. That's what I was doing. You need to let go, and most of the time it's for the better. If I didn't, who knows where I would be? Probably on the street smoking or drinking with her now.
I also want to tell you guys to not limit yourself to one friend, that is the mistake I made. I limited myself to her and only hanging out and getting to know her, and now I'm paying for it.
I'd take that back too.
So, have tons of best friends! Maybe one or two of them will go in the same directions as you go in life.
Because honestly, you wouldn't want to be in my position right now. At this age, everyone already has their friend groups and cliques. And what do I have? No one. I'm just on the outside trying to get in, with no hope of succeeding. And, it sucks.
So, don't make the mistakes I made. Best friends don't last forever, so don't limit yourselves to them and don't hold on to something that doesn't exist. You'll just regret it.
True friends are hard to find, so really hold on to them when you do. I hope I find some TRUE friends soon.
On a happier note...
I was chosen as Blogger of the Month over at Dancing Through Life! Thanks so much, Qui! It's such an honor! Go visit her blog and follow her everyone!
